blue ribbon glee club's waiting room

mirage

waiting eyes in waves
of sunless skies
or water clouded curbs
it's like a movie fated line,
a bleeding shadow once refined,
six foreign fancies squiggle free
there's some for all and nil for thee
a thick'ning paint of malady
no desperate planning to unwind
echoing laughter genuine
i'll see to two dead verbs
and raise them lies
for you who it saves

queen ce soir

I can’t explain exactly
What I’m doing standing in the rain
Don’t do it for fun
Do it if you feel it
Kiss it on the tongue

and then

you know when your drink stick gets twisted into a perfect pretty shape on the bar and you have to have a friend take a pic of it on friday night and forward it to you at work and then it takes 3 hours to remember what it was on monday? yea.

the neitzsche family circus. thanks si.

and it makes things very grey

i spent a day very busy with running in my head. i gave my shoes a good walking too and went from sitting to standing a lot. i get paid to sit and walk. so do lots of other people who have to work for other people. i work for an enormous group of people and it scares me cause i don't know who they are. they don't know who i am. i don't know who i am though i'm getting some impressions. i probably shouldn't care about working for an enormous group of people i don't know cause lots of people work for enormous groups of people they don't know and they don't care. me, i'm afraid to do what everyone else does just because it's what everyone else does because group thinking and even groups in general are scary even small groups of two. when i think about why i feel afraid of groups of two, one of two being me, being afraid of being NOT alone, i decide it's cause i know that people behave different when they ARE alone. not that i spy on people but, i have my theories based on my own behaviour. to say the least. and i see how people are influenced by each other and me by them and them by me and i decide it's scary territory.

if you're gonna be my candy man i'm gonna be your salty dog, see?

in the time it took to take, send and post this picture, the rainbow outside my work window has disappeared.

to continue in english, please press one.

extreme ironing

unexpected messy waiting, you can not plan for me nor i for you.

Firekites - AUTUMN STORY - chalk animation from Lucinda Schreiber on Vimeo.

he's not really a lost guy. he hasn't watched much TV and i think that's part of the problem.

12:50pm
jeudi, le 19 novembre, 2009
somewhere in toronto

Ring tone: opening eighth notes from black magic woman.

Enter white male, grey hair, long, in a ponytail, balding. He wears a black sweater with desert coloured, patterned sleeves and dark rimmed glasses. He is tanned and smiling. He answers the phone in a suburban Toronto, ex-Brooklynite accent. After four minutes of gentle laughter and indecipherable conversation he asks What's your name again?

Woman in all black, fuchsia foulard. Can we have two chai teas please? Smiling, pleased with herself, she casts her gaze to the dirty ceiling pondering something only she sees as beautiful. Then loudly, David, do you want tea? David? Are you happy with your wine or do you want tea? David? Are you happy? David does not respond. You're happy.

35 year old female. Hair in a half ponytail, 'natural' eyeliner. A grey and red plaid-on-the-torso sweater with light grey sleeves covering a white dress shirt. A lanyard with a plastic pass at the end hangs to her stomach. She is sitting at the same table as the cell phone guy. A group of about 9 of them are engaged in polite conversation. She speaks, WHERE are you going for dinner tonight?! WHAT did you say?! No one acknowledges her. She begins searching through her oversized purse and the action is insincere. After enough time, she re-zips the purse placing it back on the floor. She picks up another bag and pretends to search through it as well. Turning away to reposition it on the floor, she lets a brief look of disappointment wash over her face. She turns back to the men in her immediate vicinity and smiles, interested.

Past Lives by Dan Attoe

just not in the mood for anything either from spoiling myself with immediacies or depriving myself of sleep. this is neither intentional nor the result of sincere dedication. is that the problem? lack of commitment? today anything could be THE PROBLEM. but i'm sure it's the coffee. it's gotta be. just wanted a new kind of kick, something else to look forward to. why not start drinking coffee WHY NOT? so there we have it. mystery discovered, probed, dissolved, in the bag, all in the span of 2 minutes. it's the coffee's fault. real mature.

sculptures by scott-radke

found my back at she does the city and about half way down the page at characters and company.

the fun theory

IF Pollard's Law of human behaviour- we do what we must, then we do what's easy, and then we do what's fun- is true, then the folks The Fun Theory done got it right.

They built a piano staircase to see if they could get more people to take the stairs by making it fun. See what happened here.

Seeing Andre Williams sing at the Horseshoe Tavern last night exceeded my expectations and here’s why.

I’d been YouTube-ing the legend for weeks prior, trying to catch a glimpse of the draw. Andrew Toth, my event engineer and conveyor of necessity, had made me a mixed disc with a variety of Williams’ sleaze rock. I was sold on faith but didn't really have experiential context and for some reason this morning, I feel that I do. One night, one show folks. That's all it takes.

It's the perfect example of what the Internet and CDs are incapable of capturing. When you’re a showman, when you have charisma, when you’re born in 1936 Alabama and are releasing singles in the 50’s, living in Detroit and Chicago, when your music’s on the web not because you sit around thinking about what virtually does well but because you’ve been BRINGING IT for 60 years, when putting on a show means putting on a 3 piece RED suit, matching hat and tie and walking out onstage with at least 2 sexy dancing girls in lingerie and wigs, no matter what your camera angle or sound record, you will not capture the magic of the show.

I don't introduce myself as a performer despite ISOL, my life in music, dance and theatre, having an IMDB listing AND being hyper self promotionalbecause I can’t stand the elitist club of people who do. Also, I find it limiting. But when you love it, when you do it, you need to feel it and see it, live, a lot. Andre Williams is a performer and he is a man to see.

I will not sign off with a YouTube, Wiki or mp3 link because I’ve already done that below AND you have to look into it yourself because: context and experience are everything and you have to earn those things on your own.

ooooh! big anti-surprise for me. cal's been listening to a report on the radio that confirms what i've been saying all along. CELL PHONES ARE TERRIBLE BRAIN MUTATORS. there's a mobile phone company conspiracy to hide research that says otherwise. i'm telling you, wireless connections, broadcast signals, cordless phones, anything that is BEAMING A SIGNAL AT YOUR HEAD can only be regressive for our species.

i remember the look the bell guy gave me when he came to set up my internet connection and i told him i didn't want the hub in my bedroom let alone beside my pillow. it was the same look people used to give environmentalists in the 80s like I'M the whack job. i remember thinking you won't remember me bud, but you heard it here first.

i will never own a cell phone and am proud of it. truth be told i also hate the city and long to move far far away. don't listen to me now but do me a favour and remember me when all of today's children grow up to sprout giant tumours on the sides of their heads.

the feelies' loveless love

if you're going to listen to this for the first minute then decide you're too bored i say first stop being such an impatient ADD addict cause you'll never be happy with THAT attitude then jump to 4:16 so you can appreciate why listening to the song in its entirety is the way to go.

sooooo exhausted from celebrating greta's 30th birthday with her mom and widar and mel and hugh and vanessa last night at sidecar. her mom's another greta who remembered that there 'used to be a very popular drink called a sidecar' that, surprise, the bartender knew how to make so we had six for the table twice (eldest greta was driving) as well as wine and i started with sweet vermouth on the rocks all of which came AFTER the drinks i consumed prior at other locations TBA below. when it pours it shines.

sidecar = 1 1/2 oz. Brandy, 1/2 oz. Triple Sec, 1/2 oz. Lemon or Lime Juice

EVERYONE else ordered and raved about the steak frites which was part of a 24$ table d'haute. i had the salmon and their (salty) cauliflower soup.

before that i went to exan's screening of the most recent music vid she made for justin rutledge at the spoke club and it was my second time there and i recalled why i tried to forget it the first time. it wasn't cause i was immature then or cause i dressed like a skid (last night i did it up un poquito) and it wasn't cause years ago i went with a former boss who shall remain nameless but who fired me with the exact words some people you can't teach to dance and some people you can't teach to sing and some people you can't teach to work in an office as if i wanted to be taught to work in an office with a dinky woman who had the most predictable thoughts about the pretentious art house films she distributed for a french company still not naming names but your initials are CM. thankfully that's well behind me (and the only time i've ever been fired btw but i'm OVER it) cause i still think spoke drinks are a waaay over priced crock of a rip that can't even be consumed in the screening room and all the regulars wear suits and the decor makes me feel like i'm going to break something. so super outta place is the sum of me and the spoke club. also hate remote affiliations with ANY club, not that i'm a member of any or ever will be hold me to it.

before THAT andrew and tony and i went to wellington bar i think it was called and i unimaginatively drank a wellington. yesterday and today i wore a faux fur hat that looks like this.


there's nothing wrong with my camera but there's something wrong with me in that i can't seem to dedicate a sincere moment to locating my charger, a status that should defs be considered a metaphor for my life as a whole. the cam's still taking pics but is too weak to upload anything. have i got a slew for you when i do.

so feeling so pooped and today was busy at work we had a guest actress in to help host the show and everyone was in high profesh mode and after we finished shooting i had to put my head on my desk and stare at the wall for 5. not that there's anything wrong with THAT.

then i was reading this super interesting article that i later decided might not be AS interesting as i'd originally thought. introduced me to what blogger dave pollard has called Pollard's Law of human behaviour which states We do what we must, then we do what's easy, and then we do what's fun then adds the addendum We have no time or energy left to do what's merely right. It is not in our nature. and he talks about all the things we don't really want to know about.

this is obviously a rambling post and i kinda like it cause my only goal is to keep typing and capture the sloppy feeling that's capsized my day. will probably loathe this thing tomorrow or in an hour and may even revoke the entire thing, so catch it while it's hot, here and aimless.

the subway was closed after work, something about an accidental hole puncturing the subway tunnel. this worked to my advantage, not that you care, but i actually walked towards the horseshoe instead to pick up tix to see andre williams tomorrow night as i had dreaded i wouldn't do goodnight.

smile! no one cares how you feel

when you're a baby, you can not reason with yourself.

you can not say, yes i am sweating to death in this ridiculous puffy snowsuit but i'll keep quiet about it to appease my mother.

you can not play mental word games to distract from the fact that your tongue will not taste a lick of sustenance until some adult deems it an appropriate time and you can not consume the kind of intoxicant necessary to forget about the human bi product squished against your privates until the next washroom with a change table shows itself.

never mind the existential angst that any bundle of joy will be privy to through the isolating ages of babeness.

so when i hear a baby screaming like they're being tortured on the bus ride home from work, i smile because A, i feel their pain or i can imagine it and B, IF the baby's eyes fall on me, i believe a happy face will lift a mood before an angry one.

the adult response to scoff or cringe at the wails of an infant is nothing short of arrogant. many adults (who i'd argue are caught in worse infantile response mechanisms within their own unfolding traumas) throw glances of disapproval at one another while trying to sneak peaks a baby who is in a greater amount of pain than themselves.

i find this behaviour shameful and want to say get a grip because you can.

Victoria, Australia

apparently the title of britney spears song If U Seek Amy has a hidden meaning. are you ready for this?

If = F
U = U
See = C
K A = K
my = ME

I was cesarean born though you can't really tell. Although, whenever I leave the house, I go out through the window.

Steven Wright

Brisbane, Queensland, Australia

fine print = And will be reported to the authorities

Brad uploaded WALK ON (TO JESUS) to our myspace. Give it a listen.

you are not what you think you are

contrary to my last post and complimentary to my howl.



wanted to post this version with better sound but the parameters were too large for my page, no metaphor meant.

We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be.

Kurt Vonnegut

Phi Phi Island, Thailand

and you may make out with fish.

i now know of

Roy Harper

Church of the SubGenius/ JR “Bob” Dobbs

Associative thinking and the concept of traversing events by association rather than time.

Note that these 3 items might now be associated, in our brains only, by virtue of my having learned of and posted about their existence today.

Medusa
Joao Pedro Vale

cause i wanna

merçi vanessa!

was good all week. by the time friday aft came all i could smell was the devil's pale ale reeking from its keg in the market into my nostrils behind my computer at queen and john.

cal met me at 8:30 AND my boss let me leave early so i got about 4 solid hours in before rescue. of course i saw lee and mel martin and robbie. i met a new friend around 6:30 named andrew whose contact i left without, counter to our agreement shame on me.

we went to rancho to dance to the hoa hoas then came home and i have a sprained wrist but no idea why. i also have an insatiable desire for mountains of eggs and toast. the sun is shining.

both chemical and mental states will now be measured according to this here my little edward scissorhands ponies scale, exhibit A representing a purely basic, alkaline state and exhibit B expressing the acidic extreme.

let it be stated that the school of amy science and speculation recognizes both pure water and temperament as equivalent to ph 0 but refuses to recognize the ph scale beyond the description outlined herein.

EXHIBIT A


EXHIBIT B

Bonne année.